Anonymous asked:

Hey so I'm too embarrassed to ask you this personally, but do you shave, and if not is your husband weirded out by your body hair, because my boyfriend is:( I just don't feel like shaving that much, but he is grossed out by it, sigh

Hey! Nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m assuming you know me personally by how you framed your question, so I wish you felt comfortable messaging me about this privately! I don’t judge, promise. 

In answer to your first question, do I shave— at the moment, I do not. I haven’t for months. And I’d like to explain why if you let me. Honestly, I’ve never shaved regularly, even when I was under the impression that it was something all ‘ladies’ must do in order to ‘be ladies’. Now I know that’s not true, so I care even less. Recently, it has been more intentional, and that’s probably because every so often I get bitter & resentful & depressed by all the shit that’s expected of women, and I just want to say ‘fuck it’. That’s been my attitude as of late, but I’m cool with it- it gives me more time throughout the day, it saves money & water, and I’ll tell you a secret- I actually like my body hair. I think it’s pretty.

Does my husband mind the body hair? Honestly? Absolutely not. That’s not to say he’s always been so open minded. We’ve both been on a pretty big journey this year discovering feminism together and everything that coincides with that- i.e. patriarchal culture that perpetuates the myth that all women should strive to be hairless creatures. He realizes that it’s bullshit, as do I, so it’s a non issue. 

I’m trying not to be judgmental of your boyfriend because I understand what it’s like to be out of the loop— but it’s hard, haha:) I think that it’s a conversation that needs to happen, you should feel no obligation to do ANYTHING you don’t want to do. Especially when it comes to your appearance. Your body is your own, and if you don’t feel like shaving, if you have no interest, if you don’t see the point- then don’t fucking do it. You should tell your boyfriend this, and if he has a problem with that, if he has even a slightly hard time accepting that— then he’s not worth your time. That simple. Don’t ever compromise your autonomy & self expression. The right person will come along who respects that, I promise.

I really hope that it works out for you, and feel free to inbox me anytime. 


My Least Favorite Trope (and this post will include spoilers for The Lego Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Matrix, Western Civilization, and—cod help me—Bulletproof Monk*.) is the thing where there’s an awesome, smart, wonderful, powerful female character who by all rights ought to be the Chosen One and the hero of the movie, who is tasked with taking care of some generally ineffectual male character who is, for reasons of wish fulfillment, actually the person the film focuses on. She mentors him, she teaches him, and she inevitably becomes his girlfriend… and he gets the job she wanted: he gets to be the Chosen One even though she’s obviously far more qualified. And all he has to do to get it and deserve it is Man Up and Take Responsibility.

And that’s it. Every god-damned time. The mere fact of naming the films above and naming the trope gives away the entire plot and character arc of every single movie.

Elizabeth Bear - My Least Favorite Trope (via feministquotes)

Anxiety is not rude. Depression is not selfish. Schizophrenia is not wrong. Eating disorders are not a choice. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is not crazy. Mental illness isn’t self-centred, anymore than cancer is self-centred. It’s a medical illness.

(via changeling1)